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The Man

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[29 Aug 2009|03:01am]
I hate growing up. Hate hate hate it. I really just want it to stop. It's an interesting time in my life, that's for sure.
1 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[15 Jul 2009|01:18am]
I need to have more than 1 good day in a row. I'll have a really awesome day, then the next day is shit. Gimme a good week, maybe even a good five days, and I'll totally ride it out for the rest of the summer.
Give Me A Reason To Care

[10 Jul 2009|04:44pm]
There's just something about this summer that I don't like and I can't figure it out.
4 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[22 Mar 2009|01:28am]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | Goldfinger ]

Break was good, I can't believe it's about over. I didn't really accomplish much, but I'm on pace to get everything I need to get done around the time I need to. I think the break was good; I feel as if when I get back to Plattsburgh, I'll be in a motivated mood to get things done.

My insurance for my car is due Monday and I don't have the money, I'm gonna have to ask my parents for help and not only do I hate doing that because I want to feel independent I know they probably really can't afford it. It sucks when you're broke like this yet you have a job, even if I'm only part time. I guess I can pay them back fairly quickly as long as I kinda bear down on what I'm spending.

I haven't felt great lately. I can understand it, I've been treating my body like crap. This vacation has been all about beer, pizza, pizza rolls, pizza bagels, fast food, oh and more beer. Hopefully that's all it is. I feel stressed out, I don't know what it is either. Just anxious to get back to Plattsburgh I think..

I'm really excited for this summer, in particular because of the movies me, brent, and robot plan on making. I have so many ideas, and not just ideas for mini series and shorts but I've been looking at unsigned artists for some music for the series, wathing other shorts and series to pick up little things we should try to do and common mistakes, thinking about who to cast of our friends for parts we plan on having in the shorts, etc. It's all exciting. Who knows, maybe directing and producing is my calling, hahaha.

I've got some stuff to get done, I hope my stories come out well this week, I've got a lot of sources but still haven't got it all. I've got students to interview, hopefully everyone gets in touch tomorrow. I'm not too confident with the way some interviews went, we'll see when i sit down to write them. I'll probably start tonight and wrap it up tomorrow. Anywhooo just felt like writing and now I'm done.

2 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[10 Feb 2009|12:17am]
Growing up in this time period in a working class family is really nothing short of very depressing. Honestly, I've stopped caring about a lot of things. I told myself I was going to not be so shy or lazy about talking to girls this semester, and I certainly haven't been this semester, but I'd definitely credit that to not caring what the outcome is. I've told more than one person how I really feel more than once this semester already and haven't backed down. I actually worry that I might ruin friendships if I'm to continue just saying EVERY little thing that comes to mind about ANYTHING.

I really don't care about my bills, debt, or spending anymore. I've pretty much stopped spending money like everyone else because I simply don't have any money. I've been lucky enough to find cheap and even free ways to do things I enjoy. I paid $25 for open hockey and that's for a lot of sessions. I've played for free outdoor at parks a few times too. I can't seem to remember what it was I enjoy doing other than that, so I'll get back to you on that one. I have bigger fish to fry, and luckily I can pay every bill without problem right now. It's kind of funny but I'm glad to have the security of having the job at Wendy's now. There really are NO jobs here now, for anyone.

Everytime I talk to my parents the news is bleak. My dad's shoulder is really bothering him so he can't really do much work. He's self-employed, there's no disability or medical leave. My mom overthinks the finances like it's her job, and I guess it is her job. I get phone calls at 10pm weekday nights to tell me I'm in debt. Yeah, thanks mom, I forgot that college costs money, good looks. She keeps talking about how I have to take care of them after I graduate, I really don't feel very confident about finding a job after I graduate. And I don't think I can nor want to go to graduate school. So I don't know what to tell her. She doesn't hear me when I say things anyway. I try to explain the papers about the loans I've taken out, all she sees is the estimated payment schedule which is near the minimum payments. She still thinks I'm graduating in 4 years exactly from when I started despite me telling her it just isn't happening that way multiple times. It makes a lot of sense that she's far right. It would make sense for her to be far left or far anything. She is stubborn and isn't interested in hearing anyone elses point of view. I guess I'm grateful for that, because I'll certainly never be so close minded about ANYTHING the way she is about MOST things.

My schoolwork hasn't QUITE suffered yet. It's still early. I don't do reading. I'm very blunt about it when I don't do it. When I don't know the answer to a question, I don't dance around it. I say word for word I don't know, I didn't do the reading, I didn't do the assignment, etc. I'm writing for the paper and it's the only thing I'm really passionate about when it comes to school. It's still somewhat of a chore, but it's an exciting chore. A nerve wracking one but I like it so far.

I'm really anxious in classes, it's the weirdest feeling and I can't begin to understand why. I don't know what it is about being in class but I feel it all the time. And it's weird, but I really think the fact that most of my classes are in classrooms without windows may have something to do with it. I guess i feel kind of claustrophobic.


But, I'm hanging in there. And I'm hoping for something good to happen. I don't care what.
Give Me A Reason To Care

[27 Jan 2009|12:50am]
Classes started today. I don't know why but classes make me anxious. I'll get more comfortable (hopefully..haha), I'm gonna be working hard enough where hopefully I'm not over-thinking things. I think it's clearly just being kind of anxious cause I didn't really experience anything like it while I was home especially when I was sick and didn't really have much to worry about. It's good to be back here regardless, this semester I'm on a mission to be much more social. I can't remember if I mentioned that in my last entry.

I already decided 19 credits is just too much. Now's not a good time to overload. 16 is going to be hard enough. I'm going to drop public speaking unless one of my classes tomorrow just seems like too much, but I don't see that happening, it's two sociology courses and two entry level journalism courses that I've gotta take anyway. For my speaking requirement or whatever I think I'm gonna try intro to acting.

The paper seems like a challenge, it'll be a cool challenge but a challenge nonetheless. Deadlines have me a little worried but I should be alright.

Hopefully my tests came back alright from the doctor, haven't heard from them and I haven't gotten around to calling home to see if they called there. Not sure what I'm gonna do as far as follow up, I'm not scheduled to come home until spring break in march. I guess I could go home in a few weeks once i'm settled. I don't know we'll see.

Gotta get some sleep, busy dayy tomorrow
Give Me A Reason To Care

[12 Jan 2009|11:32pm]
I'm taking 19 credit hours next semester. Six 3 credit classes, then 1 credit for writing for the paper. I think I can handle it, my classes all seem pretty interesting. I'm hoping keeping busy will actually reduce stress, sometimes life is funny that way. Less time to think about little things.

Monday-Wednesday
3pm-415pm CMM 101 Introduction to Public Speaking
430-545pm JOU 348 Mass Communication Ethics
10-1130pm JOU 402 Editorial News Practicum (Paper)* Monday Only *
Tuesday-Thursday
930-1045am JOU 204 U.S. Press History
130-245pm SOC 352 White Collar Crime
3-415pm JOU 206 Introduction to Newswriting
430-545pm SOC 250 Criminology

I'll also be working..I'm going to apply for other jobs once again, but if nothing else works out I'll be at Wendy's for about 10-13 hours a week again.
I'm getting a refund check for $970, but I have car insurance due at the beginning of February...$659. So that takes a big chunk out of that...then there is also books. And that about does it for my refund check lol. I really want a new laptop, nothing too fancy or expensive just something new. This laptop is almost 3 years old, it's slow, and as we speak I'm running in safe mode trying to get rid of viruses and spyware. I've been working at that on and off for the past few hours. I had 6 viruses/problems, I'm pretty sure 4 of them are gone. 2 left to get rid of. I'm still getting pop ups and they drive me insane. I don't understand how I got a virus either Time to go find something to do.
Give Me A Reason To Care

Why Denis Leary is awesome [22 Nov 2008|11:45pm]
An expert from the prologue of his new book "Why We Suck":

"Here's another lively topic:
It says somewhere in the piece of paper that this great country of ours was founded upon that all men are created equal.
Bullshit.
All men are created equal as long as they don't wanna blow each other.
And then decide to keep on blowing each other long enough to fall in love.
And then suddenly express a desire to formalize that relationship by getting married.
It's apparently okay to have sex with other guys as long as you keep it secret and have a wife who somehow doesn't know AND you are either the pastor of a church or a sitting senator or both. In Larry Craig's case the term "sitting senator" will more than likely get a laugh out of you-- as will the term "wide stance."
Yep--There is a real fear in America that gay marriage will somehow up-end heterosexual unions and throw the entire moral fabric of the country into a tailspin-- no pun intended.
I know several gay men and gay women involved in very committed and honest relationships with other gay men and gay women that would put a lot of straight married couples to shame. They are monogamous and caring and devoted and affectionate.
Besides-- why shouldn't they get married? Why should straight married couples be the only ones who never have sex, argue incessantly over what to watch on TV and walk around on a daily basis harboring a deep and bottomless well of resentment and anger pieced together brick by murderous brick over years and years of both real and imagined slights and emotional warfare and wallpaper choices? Shit--I say marry every gay willing couple off right now. Mark my words--just like the rest of us--within eighteen months at least half of them come running back to court begging to be released from such an endlessly mind- and libido-numbing fate.

Open ass--Insert Bill of Rights. "


I'm halfway through his new book already, good shit if you can get past the purposely bad grammar (lots of run-on sentences that are purposely there to make the voice of the book really stand out..)
Give Me A Reason To Care

[14 Nov 2008|01:21pm]
lol, high school never ends
Give Me A Reason To Care

If I had the time, I'd go around shaking everybody's hand, like "yo how you doin' man?" [11 Nov 2008|04:22pm]
It goes o la o la o laaaa

I'm skipping class because I'm feeling anxious and I think it's because I've had 1 and a half amp energy drinks over a short period of time. And I'm stressing over what's due and such too. And I only got to sleep for four hours last night. So instead of going to class I'm just listening to some atmosphere and I'm gonna nap soon. Things have overall not been bad lately even with the stuff mentioned in my last entry. Wendy's is crappy pay and all but I don't mind the people, I'm usually in decent spirits during a shift. I'm almost done at Wendy's for the semester too. It's nice actually having some cash in my pockets sometimes too. I can't believe the semester is almost over, I've got a lot of work to do. But about that nap, it's gonna happen now. Peacee
Give Me A Reason To Care

What do I know? [10 Nov 2008|01:07am]
[ music | Kanye ]

Life is really routine lately. I've gotten used to pain, I have weird physical pain and sometimes I just hope it's stress but I've gotta say, doctors suck. My doctors office must just not care much about me because everytime I go or I need something they never follow through on what they say they'll do. First it was getting my prescription refilled up here. I ran out of medicine 2 weeks before columbus day break, I couldn't have the prescription transferred since what I'm on is a "controlled substance" in new york state, really dumb law or regulation or whatever you'd call it. I called them twice, saying I needed a prescription called in, both times they said they'd take care of it and call me back if there was a problem. The second time I just gave up and waited 'til break to go to refill it. I went to the doc to see what's up and the PA was really good, ordered a ton of bloodtests, made me confident if something was wrong we'd figure it out. Talked about going to a neurologist. Well they said they'd fax my blood work to me at school. Never heard from them. Don't have the time to deal with this now, probably gonna wait 'til december. It's typical. But here it's just like class class, party and have a decent time, feel empty at the end of the night, sleep, repeat. I don't fall asleep easy at night either. Work has consumed my weekends, and it's a downer. Work takes forever. 4 hour shifts feel like days and I never feel like doing anything productive the same day as work. I don't even mind the people at work, I have a lot of good laughs with them, I don't mind the work I'm doing there, but the atmosphere and the grossness of some of that stuff is just, bleh. It's not a place I want to be. I thought I was going to be lucky enough to never have one of those jobs that you think about quitting every day that you have a shift, but not so fortunate. We'll see what I can do next semester and/or next year.

4 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[04 Nov 2008|12:57am]
I updated my blog for the election http://sempcolumn.blogspot.com/ and my next article is gonna be on either the affect the economy as of late has had on alternative energy, the increasing stress kids from the age range of 17 to 22 are facing, or something else I'm not sure I've gotta brainstorm. But check it out.
Give Me A Reason To Care

[02 Nov 2008|01:04am]
[ music | Gym Class ]

I'm doing a great job of keeping my head up, but I need a pick-me-up more than I've ever need on before.

Give Me A Reason To Care

[31 Oct 2008|03:37pm]
[ music | Atmosphere ]

It could just be that I've yet to have a good Halloween since I really grew up -- maybe it's just bad luck, it happens once a year and maybe it just so happens that I just have a bad day or weekend when Halloween comes around; but I really think I liked Halloween better when I was little, and we dressed up as power rangers and clowns, not pimps and sluts.

This year for Halloween I'll be a Wendy's employee, putting together all the disgusting chicken and meat between rubber like buns from 6 to 11 for minimum wage. They tell you it's $7.15 an hour but the deduct in New York State really does a number on that pay stub. And tomorrow is round 2, just one hour less. The wages for such a shitty job are so demoralizing. Even with the really minimal raises they give you for being there longer or moving up to shift manager are still weak. Just thinking about how little I'm earning per shift, its shitty. It doesn't put a dent into the kind of cash I need to cover debts.

5 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[08 Oct 2008|12:49pm]
I can't get behind either of these candidates. It might be politics but both of them continue to turn me off more and more to voting for them with these stupid attack campaigns. This is the biggest reason why I really think we need a strong third party to come about, they don't have to have the power to win but put a dent in the election. It would, in my opinion, seriously limit the attack ads and force candidates to talk more about the issues. I mean shit we're in the midst of our biggest economic crisis since the great depression and we wanna talk about who Obama associated with years and years ago. I'm really just not interested in hearing it. The average voter is though, it's unfortunate. They want to know all about these guys personal lives because they have this unrealistic vision for who they want their president to be. The president isn't allowed to have anything go wrong in their marriage or family life (see: Monica Lewinsky scandal, we'd rather talk about a blowjob than what's going on in the world, particularly stabilizing Bosnia after the 3 year conflict there). We're a country that's supposed to have church and state separate yet the president has to be religious, and not just any religion either. We're close-minded as a whole. And as I said, it's unfortunate because I know there have got to be better people out there to lead this country, but they didn't support the right lobbyists and corporations on the way, maybe they're divorced, maybe they lost faith in god, so they're clearly unfit to run our country. And it's not like they do that alone, it's the complete opposite. You need a president that's going to look to fix things that he/she can-- no empty or unrealistic promises. In my eyes the presidents job more than anything is just being, I don't know how to describe it better than something like a "super diplomat" haha.

I'm excited to vote for the first time, but between the candidates sucking ass and the fact that our voting system is so outdated that I have to submit an absentee ballot it just takes a lot of the fun out of it.
1 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[24 Sep 2008|11:28am]
[ music | The Used ]

I had what I guess you'd consider an epiphany last night. As much as I hate all the things my mom was barking at me on the phone Thursday I think last night while I was tossing and turning rather than sleeping(which seems to be regular practice for me these days), I thought a lot about what I want after college. My thought process going into college, both Suffolk and Plattsburgh, has been I just want to go and set my self up for when I know what I want to do, and have the time of my life while I'm doing it. Lately I've been having a hard time with the time of my life part, but I think things are really looking up.

Anyway, last night I was thinking about something I wanted to write about for a long time, alternative energy. What kind of alternative energy we already have in this country, what scientists have in the works, etc. and I was specifically thinking about wind power because I read an article in Newsday about how Long Islanders were opposed to an offshore wind farm for whatever reason. I guess they like high energy costs, I don't know. But I thought about it and I already have a lot of video sources and I was thinking how it'd be really cool to drive down to Ticonderoga and interview the farmers that allowed for the building of wind farms and stuff. I thought about how cool it'd be to just put together a story and then try and push it on the school paper and maybe even a few small newspapers.

While this thought process about how awesome this story would be and how much I'd love to write it was going down I just stopped and thought about how maybe writing really is what I want. I've always liked writing but I've never liked the effort it takes. I guess maybe I'm just lazy, but the idea of interviewing people that have to do with the wind power in New York and gathering sources for a story like that really got me into it, and it made me think- maybe I've finally gotten into the reporting side of it. And I started thinking about it on a deeper level, and I thought how cool it'd be to manage to not just do news writing, but get myself involved in Radio and/or Television mediums too. And maybe even magazines.

But I've never felt this close to being sure that I'm on the right track in awhile. This semester in itself is probably going best of any as far as taking school and classes seriously. And I'm gonna sort everything else out, I'm applying for jobs at a few places today, when I go home Columbus Day weekend maybe I'll be able to work a shift or two at Tommy's. I also plan on getting to the Doctor's that weekend, get whatever it is I've been feeling sorted out, I'm just gonna make a list of symptoms, I'm assuming blood tests and such will follow and then I'm gonna say call me with what's up and we'll go from there. Hopefully if something is wrong it leads to a specialist up here and that's taken care of and if it's just stress and anxiety we talk medication or something.

I'm off for now though. Laundry, Job Apps, Studying, Two Tests, hopefully winning myself some "Cardinal Cash" or a TV or something at this Cardinal Cash Fair today, and getting some work done on my magazine report.

2 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

Writer's Block: Health Care [23 Sep 2008|12:33pm]

Is health care a right or a privilege to you?

Submitted By [info]deserves


View 501 Answers


It's hands down a right. We should all have access to at least basic health care that will keep people in good health. I don't know why the idea of socialized health care scares people so much. I don't think a universal system like the one in Canada is right for us, nor do I think Hilary Clinton's or Obama's are. But to suggest that it's a privilege well that just feeds right into the reality that the rich run this country, not the people. I don't have the answer as to how to fix our health care system but I can tell you this: It's broken. We're the only advanced industrial nation in the world that lacks: universal health care, and for another day of writing, universal education. You can be as smart as they come, the odds you've gotta overcome if you grew up in the projects as opposed to living in the upper middle class and beyond are ugly. But as for health care, yeah, it's a joke. Even for those with insurance, seeing doctors is a headache, I've experienced it myself and my mom had a really hard time getting our insurance company to pay for a lot of treatment for her breast cancer. It's a sad state when even those that can afford insurance have to heckle insurance companies to get them to actually pay up. The less costly plans as far as monthly or yearly payments go always have a really high co-pay if you're getting decent coverage. For a struggling worker in this country, to spend $20 for a doctors visit or $50 for a visit to the ER isn't chump change. Here's to hoping we can move closer to fixing it. Unfortunately with the state of the economy and the fact that the idea of universal health care has been around since 1948 when Truman was running for president, I doubt we see it anytime soon, but we'll see.
Give Me A Reason To Care

[17 Sep 2008|02:25pm]
So I'm not exactly on the socialized medicine bandwagon, but it'd be just lovely if a guy like myself, who has fucking insurance, could see a general practice doctor away from home, without going to a clinic or the ER and dishing out the $50 co-pay. And my favorite thing about the ER co-pay is they charge you co-pays for certain tests and labs too. We don't need socialized healthcare, hell we can't have socialized healthcare, we don't even have one form of healthcare yet, we have sickcare. You get sick and we do what we can to fix you or we make you comfortable. That's what free market healthcare is I guess. Brilliant. Lets waste billions making the never-going-to-get better comfortable rather than providing preventative healthcare. I mean fuck I can't even see a doctor! Well I mean, I could drive 6 hours but that's counterproductive, have you seen gas prices? People criticize socialized medicine, with stories of horrible waits, etc. well I've been sitting around calling doctors and the hospital here trying to see how I can see a doctor but not until today did I really get any answers. And they were very simple answers. And I went through the entire process of making an appointment with a new doctor, WITH a new receptionist that didn't know what she was doing, just to be told "you'll have to call your health insurance company and see if you can have two primary care physicians."

BLAH.
1 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

9/11 [12 Sep 2008|11:27am]
It's kind of sad, september 11th has been commercialized. Badly. I mean they even call it "9/11". I think it's also called Patriot day or something like that? Everytime I see an infomercial for those commemorative coins I wanna vomit. I watched a documentary last night on the history channel that gave me chills, it brought me back to that day like I've never been brought back before.

This documentary had no voice over, no narration. It was beautifully done. It was comprised of a lot of home footage, it didn't follow one persons footage or a handful of peoples footage though. It included radio calls between emergency services, 911 calls, and then the audio with the video. It portrayed all the confusion of that day. All the fear. And what later turned to blind hatred and anger as well. It takes you away from the politics of it for awhile. The thing that amazed me is when you slow down what happened you realize that the FDNY had guys as high as the 77th floor...in the south tower too, the one with the second plane, where the plane hit a lot lower than the other tower. It's crazy to think the plan was to put the fire out or to trap it and let it burn, no one expected anything to collapse. It's also so horrifying to think about all the floors that were above where the planes hit. The most terrifying thing I've ever seen is someone that must've been on about the 105th floor of the north tower, out the window waving a white flag or a shirt, and then he jumps after awhile. Burn alive or crash on the city streets, why should an innocent person have had to make this kind of decision? The bravest thing that I took out of this and the thing that gives me pride just watching it was how guys didn't even flinch to keep going to ground zero, even after the south tower collapsed. A great deal of people showed so much heroism that day. And to a lot of people that was just their job. People in a career answering the biggest call of their lives, and very sadly for some of them their last calls.

The blind hatred and fear after the second tower collapsed was also captured. Remember all those fucking idiots that were going to 7-11's and beating the shit out of the HINDU guys that work there? Yeah, those morons. They had one guy in times square say into the camera "We should just go and destroy arab country, that's it." It goes to show how ignorant the average american can be, but at the same time you can't even blame him. The news feeds us this crap, the government feeds us this crap, and even when we rationally dissect and disagree with some of it and agree with some of the rest, it's still in our heads and I think it's probably been instilled in the back of our head that all Arabs are terrorists, even though they're not. Just like any stereotype.

But my point with everything is with september 11th, a lot of people say "Never Forget" but really don't remember themselves. We all remember that two planes hit the World Trade Center. Another hit the pentagon and a plane crashed in Pennsylvania that was hijacked as well. But I think what everyone needs to remember is how our innocence was just taken from us that day. We lost a lot of rights that day. Our own government jumped on this day to pass bills that infringe on our rights to privacy and anyone who stood in the way was looked at as "unpatriotic". Patriotism is a dangerous thing, people that are over patriotic almost make me less patriotic. Americans take everything very seriously and we have this attitude, a chip on our shoulder, that makes us want to be the best at everything and I really think it makes us end up going overboard with everything. And that goes for the average civilian who decided he loves this country so much that after "9/11" he was going to go out and buy 30 American flags in all different varieties to put all over his yard, his car, and he was going to buy some boxers, a bandana, and a bunch of "never forget" t-shirts because he loved America so much. There's nothing wrong with loving this country but some people love it so much they choose to ignore the wrongs we do. Every country does wrong, find me a perfect country, you can't. There never will be such thing. But come on. And not only did our government use "9/11" to infringe o our rights and get bills passed that they had wanted to pass for a long time waiting, it took us into war. The "War on Terrorism" sounds good from the onset but it's a shame it's led by a country with so many underlying reasons to go to war with these countries it's not even funny. How we have STILL yet to really get into Pakistan but claim to really want to get Bin Laden and the rest of the terrorist scum is beyond me. There were reports that Bin Laden was in Pakistan before we even went into Afghanistan. And coincidentally there's an oil pipeline being built in Afghanistan around that time. Hmm? And Iraq is a joke. Iraq should've been liberated in 1991, and the fact that it wasn't then and only now did we liberate it is proof enough that we're not there for the right reasons. We don't care about the people, we don't care about finding terrorists there, we care that there's a shitload of oil there and that we can't have it fall into the wrong hands. We're going to force a culture onto the iraqi's that they're going to hate and it's probably never going to work. Wooo.

Never forget what it's really about. The innocent people lost and the lingering affect it's had on us today. How we honor the fallen with coins, flags, t-shirts, unjustified wars, and more bloodshed. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the right action would've been to go "that sucked" and hide under a rock. But going to war with the first country you can find probably wasn't the brightest idea either.

[/rant]
7 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

[29 Aug 2008|12:39am]
I have such a piss poor attitude. I'm more of a prick than ever, and not that I've scared anyone off yet but I'm sooo not in the right state of mind to be making new friends. They're all going to get the wrong idea about me.

I don't even know what it is that made me feel so bitter and feel so pissed off recently. I guess I have a hard time dealing with failures and honestly dealing with things that don't go my way. I bottle things up too, it hasn't been 'til this summer where I've finally started to voice displeasure I feel with people and i'd say 85% of the time I've got at least a few beers in me.

The funny part is I have more motivation to do stuff like schoolwork and errands now that I'm here. I don't know if it's to get my mind away from things or what. I haven't felt this right in awhile, I've only had a few anxiety moments(although they were more than just moments, try 60 to 75 minutes) so far up here. I still wish my health situation was settled it's always something different which also leads me to believe it's just stress and anxiety but ya know there's always that "what if it's not?"

I like my new classes. My new room and roommate is real legit. But something's just off and I really SHOULD be happy but I'm not. I mean generally not. It's not like I've locked myself inside this dorm and decided nothing makes me happy.
1 Sang Along Forever | Give Me A Reason To Care

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